CLUBS & HANGOUTS Apollo's *Anyone-can-play-there club Apollo's has been poorly managed booking wise (if they even actually book anymore). You could probably walk in today and get a show tonight. One minute owner Louie says he's not doing shows any more, the next minute there's the semblance of a band name on the Marquee. Being on the edge of South Campus and Chittenden, it can be scary area to go to. I believe Chittenden is actually the sound a rifle makes when ya empty out the shells. 4 or 5 years ago, the place was a little more organized and even had a few good shows -- it looks to be heading that way again. - Joel Bernie's Bagels and Deli/The Distillery *Pseudo-Hippie eatery and bar, High Street and 16th Avenue Specializing in mostly hardcore, grunge and some of that crummy hippie shit, Bernie's has been steadfast and strong in supporting local bands. Some of the classic bands to checkout in this venue are Pet UFO, Gunshy Ministers, Girly Machine, and Econothugs. The venue is dark, seedy and has a terrible sound system; what more could you ask for? Also, the Distillery has a fantastic kosher style deli where you can get treats on Styrofoam plates and the bar boasts one of the best beer selections in the the city (imports from places where I don't know that they really make beer, but what do I know?) If you happen to be a band person interested in booking time at Bernie's, please do! Bernie's also brings in out of town bands, but you might want to get in touch with someone in the city to help with posting flyers for you. I'm sure that you are well aware of the advertising situation for most "underground" shows. And be prepared for a good crowd if you get on a good ticket. Cowlumbus band fans are fierce and loyal. You will find people friendly and ready to listen, so don't let us down. Oh, but if you aren't a band person, please come anyway and join in the fun of a great show with fun fans. You must remember to yell Freebird a lot. - Mary-Margaret Faith *Best (cheap) musical variety/Worst sound system/Most comfortable hangout So there's this bagel/deli place with cool music and a sporadic sound system. I call it Burnie's. Some employees call it Burn-outs -- but just in fun, kinda. Punk, blues, pop, soul, R & B, acoustic, jazz and just about any other genre of "rock" that isn't too MIDI or metal, is featured here all the time. People sometimes complain about the food prices and the smell. Use a coupon! (For the food I mean.) The Distillery also has one of the biggest selections of beer in town -- and a decent liquor shelf. The focus is local and cheap music-wise but, hey, Beck played there! - Joel Cafe Ashtray (CLOSED) *Experimental Performance Space, Acme Art Company, 737 North High Street First off, admissions of bias: I used to run and book Cafe Ashtray. I had an utterly fantastic time doing it, too. Ashtray took place in the basement of Acme every Friday night for a couple years. It was always a small thing, maybe a dozen or two people. You didn't want it to get crowded either, since it was difficult fitting more than 50 into the space. Initially some beer was sold, but it was normally a BYOB affair. Ashtray was, in my mind and others, legendary. We had all ends of things come through -- performance art, experimental bands, staged plays, spoken word, theme events, and much more. Ashtray was known for the place to see the weirdest stuff every week; the secret stash of things not highbrow enough for The Wexner Center and not beer-brow enough for Stache's. Goblinhood read tarot cards while you waited. Angel Dust 216 came from Springfield to perform amazing analog electronic music. A local guy sliced himself up live. Gaga debuted playing 2-foot circular saw blades. MelloDeath debuted playing lounge versions of alternative hits. Body Release turned it into a techno haven; Jim Greenwood turned it into a curtained stage for The Importance of Being Earnest. Acme turned a few dollars richer, sometimes. I usually turned in after about 1am. Alas, Cafe Ashtray met its death when the board of Acme bowed to landlord threats against use of the basement for public functions, since it was not up to code. It may live again someday, somewhere... perhaps Acme again, when it changes locations. But for now, it remains a fond memory. - Mark G. *Basement experiment in sound, electronics, art, performance I only went once or twice, but it was a small basement with a few rows of couches/pews/chairs and a storage area for BYOB-type items. Performances were commonly intro'd/preceded by Goblinhood. (A whiny masked thing who always seems to go on to long -- I don't think I'll ever be anything but annoyed by him/her/it.) The shows were usually electronic music in nature (techno, industrial, ambient, experimental ...) with the occasional reading/ performance art/movement piece. A bigger place would have been nice. - Joel Chelsie's *Reggae, psychedelia and alternative pop focus There was a time when the Chelsie's was very conducive and supportive of more glam rock type stuff. That seems to have faded into a more psychedelic/ reggae thing, with some classic/alternative pop/punk rock still making regular showings. There's even a plan to do more national shows. Expect the reggae to slow down when/if the new Skankland opens. - Joel Common Grounds *Unplugged attitude, Corner of Hudson and Indianola Avenues On the corner of Hudson and Indianola, one will find Common Grounds Coffee House. In this precarious location, a coffee house seems out of place, but the owners have been doing a good job of keeping things going. Although the coffee here is over-priced and not very good at all, Common Grounds does hold a decent open mic night on Wednesdays and also has a good variety of live entertainment ranging from Rock-a-Billy to Celtic. Guest poets often read here while on their travels and the bookings tend to be rather worth checking out. Unfortunately,in addition to the coffee quite frankly, sucking, the owners and regulars have a sort of unfriendly attitude toward "outsiders" and I always get the impression that they would prefer to own a private club. The decor is laid back kitchenish and they do have a really cool lamp that I would love to own, but.... I would only recommend hanging out in Common Grounds if you don't want coffee and there is an act you would like to see. Sorry. - Mary-Margaret Faith Freak'n Pizza (CLOSED) *Used to be the coolest place to catch shows: ("home of the Gothic bikini oven burn," according to Ron House a few years ago). By the way, any idea what happened to Kirby? One day I'm talking about doing a show with him in the near future, the next there's no answer. Then I drive by and it's locked up good. Damn. Kirby was the best guy to deal with about playing shows. - JD Kimple *Pizza and Punk Rock at High Street and Chittenden Ironically, Freak'n was opened and run by a guy I went to college with in Computer Science -- Kirby was his name. Kirby shirked his technical knowledge and decided he liked pizza better. And thus, Freak'n was born. But Kirby didn't stop there: He went and got Stache's old sound system, a stage, and started a punk performance area in the side room. For a year and a half or two, Freak'n sported punk shows that would've gone nowhere else. Punk bands from everywhere flocked, numerous local bands played there (myself included). The pizza wasn't good, but nobody said anything -- everyone was glad just to have the place there. Freak'n finally closed its doors sometime during the summer of 1994. I haven't seen him since to find out what the story is, but the location was prime and he probably couldn't handle the rent. Too bad; we'll all miss the place. It's hard to find a punk-oriented place to eat, y'know. - Mark G. *Hardcore/Straight-edge/Young audience pizza club gone under Freak'n was a weird place to go or play, but the sound was good. Next to the South Campus strip (lots-o stupid, loud, annoying, violent drunks), it was away from the calmer live music bars up north. There was no liquor, only beer, at Freak'n -- so lot's of drinkin music fans avoided the place. But the owner/operator, Kirby, was easy to work with. And it was about the only outlet for young fans and bands to go without getting hassled about their age and drinking. Instead the kids hassled old guys like me. :-( - Joel Idiot Boy *Hip-Hop & yuh don't stop, Just North of Lane Avenue and High Street Idiot Boy coffee house is a strange little joe joint located in the north campus area of OSU right off the corner of Lane Ave. Owned by a couple of misplaced California guys who didn't deal well with their first winter here in Columbus, Idiot Boy has a different sort of atmosphere and some damn good coffee. The decor is more upscale thrift store furniture, many antique sofas and an enormous dining table. The coffee is all California beans flown in which is very special as most of the coffee houses in Columbus get their coffee from Stauf's in Grandview (a suburb of Columbus). The atmosphere at Idiot Boy is punctuated by the constant blaring hip-hop music, to which I am allergic, but others may love. Of course, the place is crammed with suburban white kids who want to be hip-hop, but during afternoons, you can find an empty sofa and stretch out with a good book or play chess with one of the regulars or owners. All in all, Idiot Boy is a great experience (sorry, I really hate hip-hop) and for the serious coffee drinker, I highly recommend trying it out. There is not much else to eat or drink there, but leave your non-coffee pals at home with their paltry wimp drinks and gear up for good stuff. - Mary-Margaret Faith Luna (CLOSED) *Cafeteria-style coffee shop, 4th Avenue and High Street Luna Coffee shop is a delightful place to spend an evening or a rainy afternoon (if she's open.) Located on the north end of Columbus' Short North area on High Street between 4th and 5th Aves., Luna has a casual hip that boasts a coffee drinkin' poetry writin', pool playin' crowd. Friday nights hop at Luna with their open mic readings which include poetry, music, some performance art and the occasional sing along depending on who has shown up. The owner, Max and her assistants are friendly, warm and down to earth in spite of a tendency towards grunge/hippiness. The coffee at Luna is also fairly palatable and a selection of teas and juices and other drink delights are available for our non-java pals. With two large rooms, each equipped with a pool table, there is room to spread out and relax, especially on the many sofas and arm chairs. The overall decor of Luna looks sorta like somebody's basement recreation room that was handed over to the kids, but the charm of the place makes it easy to hang out and talk or make fun of bad poets. Parking is also ample and the prices are cheap! - Mary-Margaret Faith The Newport *Big-time concert hall, North High Street, between 12th and 13th Avenues This is a large venue, with a capacity of about 2,500 (when the fire marshal is looking). They rarely reach this, which is fortunate because it's not one of the best places for live shows... though it's not bad either. With a capacity like that, the shows will be larger ones, usually college oriented. Expect to see bands like Gwar, The Dead Milkmen, A Tribe Called Quest, Pop Will Eat Itself, and other big name, non-mainstream acts. Like most large venues, the drinks are weak and the bouncers are non-human. They also have a Subway booth inside, which charges airport prices for food. And like an airport, any band you see there will have no other choice for a place of this size to play in Columbus. Their show schedule is sparse -- maybe two shows a week average -- but in a way, I sympathize with them. Although there are plenty of college record stores, there's no radio stations on which to hear the bands playing there... hence, the last time I saw Pop Will Eat Itself there, only 200 people showed up. Still, I've seen some monster shows there that'll live long in my memory: Butthole Surfers at their peak, Lush, and the Skinny Puppy show where the cops lined up to tear gas the exiting crowd. - Mark G. *Big alternative acts and small major acts So this is for the shows with under 3000 patrons and all those TicketMaster hassles. Few people say nice things about the bouncers, and the fact that they have so many turns me off. The sound's usually O.K. to great, but the food and drinks are priced waaaay high. They are starting up a dance club thing again, this time on Fridays with a Disco/80's theme. - Joel Ruby Tuesday *70's art-deco cheese in a live club/bar I think Ruby is under relatively new booking management, but it ain't changed much. A lot of bands stuck in the 70's whether they like it or not -- whether the try it or not. It reminds me of all those places we went to in High School or before (when classic rock was the only cool thing to like) trying to pretend we belonged. The sound system seems to be very durable and stable, but ya have to deal with getting yer own mixing board. - Joel Stache's [And Little Brother's] *Appalachian Punk and Local Rock Bar, 2404 N. High Street Stache's slogan is "Ya Been There" and then they list all of the people who have been there. The list is impressive as is the dedication of owner Dan Dugan. From Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds to Cocteau Twins; Nirvana to Lord Burger (what, never heard of 'em?) Stache's is the place where the true underground has played in Columbus before they became popular, before they were at Lollapoloser. Stache's also hosts a plethora of Celtic musicians, spoken word performances, benefits for everything, lectures by anti-racist leaders and they even have a woman running sound (makes my heart warm as I used to run sound and things like that are hard to do without a penis!) In Stache's you will expect more of those wacky band fans out to yell insults at their favorite local rock stars or to mosh in front of (or on) the stage. Local people such as Evolution Control Committee, Martyr Colony, Pet UFO, New Bomb Turks, etc. have and always will play at Stache's. If you are driving up High Street north of OSU, slow down when you see Monkey's Retreat (another cool store) and check the "marquis" over the door of Stache's. Find anything good? Park, go in and pay about a buck per band, get yourself the traditional Rolling Rock and have a damn good time. If you don't, you suck. Red Hot, Punk Rock! - Mary-Margaret Faith *Small next big things/More established & persistent locals/Best live sound Some of the best, most unique, most experimental, most hip, most up-and- coming, most interesting, most cutting edge and most varied music in town. Nightly music from jazz and folk to rock and punk. Even some industrial, performance art and Celtic music thrown in on occasion. The sound system is perty sturdy; and the regular soundpersons keep it that way. Few people take advantage of the bar during the day, but it is open. It's the big live music club in town to scenesters who can justify the cover -- otherwise we tend toward Bernie's, Larry's or someone's home. - Joel Wexner Center for the Arts *An all-in-one arts complex I work at If ya like architecture, love or hate the building. If ya like modern art museums, it's got galleries. If ya like alternative/documentary/history film and video stuff. it's got a theater. And if ya like live music, dance and performance art, it's got several performing spaces. Mershon is for big (up to 3064) dance and music shows. The Performance Space is for small, experi- mental performance art, music and dance. Weigel is for mid-sized music. Several big names in modern dance come through each year -- most with short residencies at OSU/Wexner. Hot modern jazz, string ensembles, experimental music and controversial performance art are always part of the season too. A recommendation: If ya wanna see something different, unpredictable or unexpected, go to any Performance Space event. If we can just lower the pretension and the buildings obstacles, we'd have a lot more fun. - Joel Top -- Next Section -- Archive CRINGE Home -- Joel's Home -- Mail Joel